Have a listen to this VERY OFFENSIVE Christmas song about the Dartford Crossing


Rewind to Christmas 2016, and you may remember that a very offensive and swear word-laden sing about the Dartford Crossing was released into the charts by the satirical site Southend News Network.

Although it didn’t make much of a splash after its official release, it did get more than one million views on Facebook – mainly thanks to the superb vocals of Annie Humphrey – one of South Woodham Ferrers’ finest singers and member of Frog On A Rocket.

Have a listen – it’s especially entertaining to play this when you are sitting at a complete standstill on either approach to the crossing while you wonder why there is delay WITHOUT the tolls being in place.

We don’t know if the ‘Chief Reporter’ (since revealed to be local resident Simon Harris) has any plans to release a follow-up this year, and to be fair this tune has said everything that pretty much needs to be said.

For all of the promises about the bridge and tunnel, it is still a complete nightmare for the many people who are forced to use it on a regular basis – paying £2.50 in each direction is the final straw when it would actually be quicker to swim it sometimes!

There was a small press ‘frenzy’ at the time, with the duo even appearing on ITV News to discuss the song.

Perhaps the finest moment of the whole ‘campaign’ was when none other than Martin Kemp of Spandau Ballet fame gave it his ‘seal of approval.’

Perhaps one reason why the chart release didn’t do too well was because the official version had the swearing removed and replaced with more family-friendly language.

When all is said and done about the Dartford Crossing, only ‘fuck’ and ‘bollocks’ will do …

According to Harris, he hoped that it would be ‘so shite, it was actually rather good’ …